Everyone has felt out of control at some time, repeating behaviours that got them into trouble in the past, or doing things that they know are counter-productive. Deep inside of us are feelings, beliefs and motivations that unconsciously shape our lives. The reason is that childhood experiences cast a long shadow: they are processed by a child's developing brain and blueprints are laid down that will powerfully affect our future. These blueprints have to do with how we feel about ourselves, what we expect to happen to us in relationship, and even how we view the world. We are not aware of their existence even as they guide our footsteps along familiar emotional paths. The patterns can be healthy, but sometimes they are dysfunctional and lead to depression, anxiety, substance abuse, relationship problems, and unfulfilled potential.

But "knowing" is often not enough. My philosophy of therapy involves creating a safe place for clients to examine their lives. I see my job as midwife to the client's process of psychological change. I accompany my clients as an informed guide on their journey of self-discovery. The unconscious can be made conscious, and then there is the possibility for doing things differently. Clients learn how difficult experiences from their past are influencing their present. As they come to know and understand themselves, self-acceptance grows. True change follows as people begin to feel worthy of love and respect.

Working with couples is different because you are working with a living relationship occurring in the moment. People often long for intimacy but are afraid of it at the same time. The result can be a kind of paralysis: people caught in a cycle of fighting, distancing, and/or pursuing. Change can happen very fast once the negative pattern is identified. Each person is then encouraged to communicate deeper feelings to the other, which leads to a new understanding and closeness.

Every therapist brings a wide variety of experiences to their practice with clients. In my case, an early interest in science led to a BSc from the University of Toronto and a career in a science-related field. I married and had two children. When I decided to become a psychotherapist, I chose The Centre for Training in Psychotherapy (CTP). It had an unusual program in that it stressed personal therapy and development in addition to psychodynamic theory. I have spent time in "the other chair" and know what that is like.

After six years of study, I graduated from The Centre for Training in Psychotherapy and have been working with clients since 1993, currently seeing both individuals and couples. I am fortunate to have my office in a building dedicated to therapy and full of colleagues. My professional affiliations include the Ontario Society of Psychotherapists (OSP) and the Canadian Association for Psychodynamic Therapy (CAPT). In fact, I was on the committee that drafted the Standards of Practice for the Ontario Society of Psychotherapists. Both organizations have Codes of Ethics and Conduct.

I enjoy being a therapist. It is work that touches on every dimension of human experience: the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. All are enriched by it.

If you wish to contact me, please call me at 416-968-7637 ext. 1, or email me at DBarman@primus.ca.